“I love daddy but he’s not really part of my family because he didn’t make me,” my 6-year old tells me.
“Yes he did honey. He’s part of you and you’re part of him. He had as much to do with making you as I did.”
“But you carried me in your tummy and he didn’t do anything. So how did he make me?”
“Errrr, well, he did.”
“He just, you know, you have the same blood as his blood, and your feet are the same shape as his. Daddies have as much a part of making a baby as the mommy does. The mommy just carries the baby in her stomach.”
“Hey, want a piece of candy?”
That’s pretty much how it went the first time. I should’ve just told her. I mean, what’s the big deal? It’s natural, right? I don’t want to make my kids think sex is gross and weird and unnatural. But they’re going to. All kids seem to. So why didn’t I just do my best and bumble through it and tell her?
Here’s why: her 9-year-old brother doesn’t know yet. I’m not sure of the psychological scarring that would occur if he learned this lesson from his little sister.
I also would not enjoy the phone calls from her friend’s moms.
“Ummm, hi Lauren. I just wanted to let you know Sarah had ‘The Talk’ with my Sally today.
“The talk? What talk?”
“You know. The Talk. The one that parents usually have with their kids at the appropriate time.” (the emphasis here would be on the word appropriate).
“The talk? My Sarah? Really? Wow. Well, did she get it right?”
So now what? We’ll probably get a book. I’m sure there are at least 10,000 on the topic.
Frankly, it makes my head hurt just to think about starting that research. But my real gut feeling here is to explain it loosely though factually. No details. Just broad strokes.
Still, I’m not going near the topic until she brings it up again. And there’s a chance I’ll offer her candy again. Hey, I’m not perfect.